Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
