He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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