Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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