So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
