Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
