YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Oh god it's open bar.
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