16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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