NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
