Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize