I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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