Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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