oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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