Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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