I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i think my mom watched the whole time
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
