Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
