Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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