now i know why i became what i already was.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
