I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize