Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Dicks are not precious.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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