We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
