is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
