There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I just blew my weed a kiss
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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