You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
