Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
