i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
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