You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
