SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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