i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
