I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
