I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
