I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize