sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize