What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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