can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize