i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
