Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
