dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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