I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I still have a little drunk in my system
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
