Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
