R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
