I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
