Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I cannot find my penis.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
