Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I cut my penus on the lid.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
And then he peed in my hair
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