Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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