we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
did i just pee glitter
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
