chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
