We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
