ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
