Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
