she was so not down for the gang bang
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
