It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
