maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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