Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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