I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize