Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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