Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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