When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
