And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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