You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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