So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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