Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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