Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
