Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize