is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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