Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
