Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
dude. I can hear the air.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
