he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
