your room smells of hookers.
And success
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
