Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
