I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
