That's intense
"it" just moved
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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