I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
