By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
