Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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