Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
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